baby (demo) | themme fatale

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baby (demo)

from i burnt all my letters (deluxe) by themme fatale

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about

I almost didn't include this either because it felt like oversharing. Then again, listen to "tired." and this sounds like small talk.

all the vocals were done in one shot bc i was trying not to cry lol

I really don't know what else to say about this but it was a bittersweet way to close a really lovely chapter in my life. <3
PS. i do not wish that i hated you - nothing but the best

lyrics

I know I was a lot to love
Was I really perfect? Was perfection not enough?
Cut all ties, that's fine
But don't leave me with so many loose ends

Was my head too heavy on your chest?
Did my love trap you in your head?
I gave you everything and more than I had
I can't resent you because I know you never asked me to, but

I thought I was your baby
How could you just erase me?
I thought you were my safety
How could you just erase me?

I felt so fucking stupid crying in my car and
Stupider the next day when my heart
Skipped a beat at every notification
But it was just my fucking credit score

I wanna be
More subtle writing all these words but
I can't lie to you, you fucked me up, it really hurt
How gently that you let me down
Without any explanation
How gently that you let me down

I wore a dress and mary janes the next day
So the perfect girl I was would stay
Just as confident she was as when she was with you
But not enough to wear lingerie you'd never see to spite you

Wish I could say I hated you, I really do
But I love every part about your sky, every hue
So many good memories to wade through
But I just sink and wonder how I could've fucked things up with you

I thought I was your baby
I thought you were my safety
How could I suffocate you?
Did you already forget me?

I felt so fucking stupid sobbing in my car and
Stupider the next week when my heart
Skipped a beat at every notification
But it was just my fucking credit score

I wanna be
More subtle writing all these words but
I can't lie to you, you fucked me up, it really hurt
How gently that you let me down
Without any explanation
How gently that you let me down

I love you so much that I can't breathe
I need you so much that I can't stand to be without you
I love you so much that I can't breathe
I need you so much that I think I'll die without you

I hate you so much that I can't breathe
I despise you so much that I can't stand to be around you
I hate you so much that I can't breathe
I need you so much sometimes but I'll be fine without you

I love you so much that I can't breathe
I need you so much that I can't stand to be without you
I love you so much that I can't breathe
I need you so much that I think I'll die without you

credits

from i burnt all my letters (deluxe), released June 10, 2022

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themme fatale New York, New York

im at the combination gender dysphoria and existential crisis, you want something?
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she/they

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